Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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