thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
