The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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