Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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