I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
