I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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