____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There's always time for handjobs
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
