that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
