Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
