Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
