After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
