So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
