glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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