Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
