okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
