Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
