It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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