mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
