My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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