please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize