she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
