so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
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