i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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