so that wasnt chicken after all
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
