she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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