Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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