This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I will be naked everywhere
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
