We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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