can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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