the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
