omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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