If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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