make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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