the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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