I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
