All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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