You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
