We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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