You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
