Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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