I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
