just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
