Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
