thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
