Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is the high leading the old right now
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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