quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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