I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
