I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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