'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
