Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
